Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Fantastic

So my Wednesday had been great so far...I was hyped up on Barack winning the election...A change coming for America...and then my mom called.

My grandpa, who is in Arkansas, has been battling cancer for a long time. For as long as I've known him he's battled emphysema...Well, the last time I saw him was when I turned 21. That was 3 years ago. Ever since then, his health has started to decline and I knew I needed to get up there to see him, but everytime was never a "good time". Well, now it's too late. He isn't expected to make it much longer. My best guess is that he'll live for maybe another day, 2 tops. I'm so mad at myself for not going up to Arkansas to see him before he goes. I knew this would happen. I just knew. I'm so upset.

On top of that, my mom also told me my Uncle Keith was in the hospital. Why? Because he stopped taking his heart medication because "it was too expensive". So what did he do instead? He started smoking cigarettes heavily again and drinking hard liquor. Oh yeah, oh yeah. Sooo super smart. So now, on top of his debt that he's already aquired, he's got a nice big hospital bill to pay (which I'm sure is NOWHERE NEAR as expensive as heart medication).... IDIOT. I don't get the logic in his thought process.

I'm just angry today. And of course the phones have been ringing a lot at work, and that doesn't help my mood when I hear bad news like I've heard today. I'm so ready to go home. I'm supposed to go work out, but I totally don't feel like it. I know I should, though and I probably will-at least to get the frustration out.

Another thing that's incredibly depressing about my grandfather passing away...They dont have enough money to put him in the ground... Yes, you heard me correctly. My grandfather's step children, have squandered his money and now he's being burried in a crappy casket and they're still not sure how they're going to pay for his burial. It's so pathetic. I sincerely hope, when I have kids, and I'm old and dying that I have already figured out my burial plans. My Grandma and Grandpa did this and so did my Nanny. SMART. Because there was nothing to worry about when their times did come.

The only thing that is making me feel better right now is that soon my granpda will no longer be suffering. He'll be free of pain and he'll be with the Lord and his wife and I know he'll be happy. He'll smile and he'll see my grandma and he'll say, "Hey there, Ms. America!" I am really going to miss him...And when we go home to Arkansas, I know it will never be the same. :(

1 comment:

OperaWife said...

You know I know EXACTLY how you're feeling right now. Take comfort in the love and support you'll get from family and friends, but definitely grieve when and where you need to. I'm always an email or a phone call away.