::Giant Sigh::

Ok, so....Lots to talk about...

First of all, all this talk between friends about starting up a bookclub is sounding like more and more fun. On Wednesday, I looked through our office's "bookshare" and picked out "The Five People You Meet in Heaven". Let me just say that I finished it in less than 24 hours. I couldn't put it down. It was such an amazing book. It really made you think. Once I was finished I started wondering to myself, when I die, who will I meet? I loved how it was written. I could see all of the colors and all of the details. Now I need to read "Tuesday's With Morrie".

Anyway, once I finished that book, I immediately went back to the "bookshare" and found "Water for Elephants". I've heard a lot about this book and I know my sister's read it (as I'm sure a few of my friends have as well). I started on that book yesterday. I'm already about 70 pages in as of this morning. I'm not supposed to read at work, but I'm sorry-there's just nothing to do up front right now, it's so slow and I just NEED something to do besides search the internet all day. I just have to say this book is great so far! I love how the author writes about this old man and his thoughts. I love the way it goes from present day to back when he was twenty three. I can't wait to finish it.

So anyway, basically, I'm really enjoying reading. You know how you stop doing something for a while and then you pick it back up and you forgot how much you enjoyed it? That's how I feel about reading. I truly forgot how much I enjoyed reading books. It takes me to a far away land, and I completely lose myself in the book. I remember in third grade when we could bring a book from the library or home to read for a while in our reading class, how my teacher remarked to me one day how she was amazed at the way I could sit down and get so absorbed in a book, I didn't get distracted by the noise and the other kids in the class. How she would have to say "Ok, it's time to put your books up" a little louder for me because I tended to tune everything out. I'm still that way. I can't believe how I forgot the fun of reading.

On a different note, I've worked out every day this week (minus Sunday). I'm really pushing myself. I'm also keeping a daily log of what I eat. Although, I just remembered, I need to start writing what kind of emotion or feeling I'm having when I decide to eat, that way I know when I'm eating just to eat or when I'm sincerely hungry. But it's been a really good thing. At first I never saw the point in them. But then...after gaining so much weight, I realized that I was eating a lot of extra stuff just because I was bored. I can already tell a difference in my attitude, energy, and my body. Hopefully it won't take me long to get back on track.

The bad thing is that my gym is closing. Their lease is up on the 26th and they aren't renewing. Which sincerely ticks me off. The thing I liked about our gym was that it was never too crowded. You could always find a machine. It's not the best gym in the world, no, but it was easy to get to, close to home, and it got the job done. Now I'm not sure what Steven and I are going to do. I think we're going to look into our White Rock YMCA to see what that looks like. It might actually come out to be a better deal than 24 Hour. I did tell Steve that I miss working out at the Downtown 24 Hour. It was really convenient for me to go over to that gym before or right after work. But now that we have Anna, I really can't do that, unless one of us goes early in the morning and the other goes that night. And the only reason that we'd even stay with the Downtown 24 Hour is if Steven gets a job downtown.

As far as my grandpa's funeral....Let's just say there was a mixture of emotions. When we went to the family visitation, I felt like an outsider. I didn't know a lot of the people and the ones I did know, I didn't really care to talk to. I felt extremely uncomfortable most of the time. And Sunday dragged on and on. The funeral was at 2:30 and I felt like 2:30 would never get here. It was almost agonizing. Some of my family is just completely annoying. They think they're so funny and some of them have this cocky attitude....::shakes head:: And then some of them are completely ignorant. Seriously. I couldn't wait to come back home. As far as the funeral itself, my mom and her 2 sisters sang a song. They practiced it like 5 times that morning. Let me just say, it was not good. I'm sorry but I cannot lie when it comes to music. It was my MAJOR for crying out loud. So when the funeral director put on the music, he put it on the wrong track, and then my mom and her sisters weren't hooked up to microphones (they were in a room, not out in the open...) so they could HARDLY be heard. And then they were ahead of the music (or behind...I can't remember now). Needless to say, it was terrible. They were off key and I was mortified for them. Then my cousin started laughing, which made my sister laugh, which made me laugh. And then I could NOT stop laughing. I felt terrible for laughing at my grandpa's funeral. I'm sure the guests who weren't sitting with the family thought I was heartless and inappropriate. My dad seemed to like the preacher who spoke. I, for one, did not. I didn't care for him at all for some reason. I don't know. Anyway, I did cry when another song was song because I thought about how I never really got to say goodbye, how I should have come up to see him, how much it's never going to be the same going up to Arkansas and how now my mom's parent's are now gone...It's just sad. I've lost 4 grandparents in the span of 6 years. Can you believe that? I only have my Pappaw and my Grandma Brumley left. :( I'm just so lucky I got to have as much time with them as I did...but it doesn't make it any easier to let them go. I still cry when I think about Nanny. When will that stop? It's been 2 years. I always kick myself when I start crying about it because there's nothing I can do about it and she's with the Lord....I think it's always a little bit harder anyway around the holidays. I miss her so, so much. I know she'd be happy for me and I know she was proud of me...What I wouldn't give to have a few more moments with her back when she was healthy.